by Adi Stein
2019 was a year filled with enormous highs and some rough lows. My personal life got a little dicey, but also I put out two web series and was in two shows on HBO so… yay? I look forward to 2020 with optimism and more than a little anxiety while I look back at 2019 with fondness and little love. But there were a bunch of games and books that I really loved this year, so why not write about them? Here is that piece of writing!
Top Ten Games 2019
10. Mini Motorways
Mini Metro was one of my favorite games of 2017, so its sequel being on this year’s list shouldn’t come as any surprise. This franchise is the perfect game to have stowed away on your phone for a long wait for a train or just to kill a few minutes. Where Mini Metro was about creating and running a successful subway system, Mini Motorways is all about roads and freeways. Your task is to make sure that cars can leave their homes to go pick up dots at various buildings and bring those dots back home as efficiently as possible. It’s relaxing and soothing until it all of a sudden isn’t and everything has gone wrong. Kind of like life, I guess?
9. They Are Billions
In middle school I was a huge Age of Empires fan and this game brought me right back to that feeling while also adding zombies. The RTS genre is not one that’s super well suited for a console, and They Are Billions does little to make the case for it. But this is the kind of game that I could play for hours and not even notice how long it’s been. It requires focus and precision but also lets you sit back and just enjoy the fruits of your labors. Nothing in 2019 was quite like watching a huge stream of zombies funnel into a narrow canyon and get torn apart by my intricate and overly expensive defense system.
8. Into the Breach
One of 2018’s most raved about games didn’t really click with me until about halfway through this past year. If you look up Into the Breach you’ll watch/read things about mechs and giant bugs and time loops, but at its core this game is chess. It takes out all the odds and percentage nonsense that typically bothers me about tactic games and lets me just play and execute. It’s punishing but not unfair and when everything goes according to plan, you feel like a militaristic mastermind. I could sit and play round after round, especially since I never did finish that final boss…
7. Tetris Effect
Tetris Effect is one of those games that anyone can get into. I played it with my die-hard gaming friends, with my mom, with my skeptical wife, and all of them fell in love near instantly. And it’s not hard to see why. Tetris Effect is visually breathtaking with one of the better soundtracks for a game in recent memory (“Balloon High: Look Up” is a song that I regularly listen to now). It’s the exact kind of game that you can sit back and relax with, and sometimes that’s all you need.
6. The Outer Worlds
The Outer Worlds finally gave me the Firefly game I’ve always wanted. With an awesome ensemble cast, a ship (lovingly called The Unreliable) that really feels like your own, and an inventive world filled with morally grey problems, The Outer Worlds in just like the serialized TV shows that got my through college. While the moment-to-moment gameplay isn’t the most engaging (I was just ripping through enemies at the end), the stories and characters are rich and complex. Whenever Parvati wanted to talk or needed a favor, I was there ready to help. When Vicor Max discovered that the universe has no meaning and that nothing he believed in was true, I was ready to go out and get a drink with him. When Nyoka needed some closure after the loss of her crew, I was honored to fight by her side. These are characters that stick with you and I can’t wait for more excuses to hop aboard The Unreliable.
5. Red Dead Redemption 2
This game, man. This fucking game. This game might very well fill that Destiny/Fortnite I-hate-you-but-love-you-and-you-suck-but-you’re-so-impressive slot in this year’s list. Red Dead Redemption 2 is gorgeous and enormous and frustrating and cocky and deserving of all the praise that’s been heaped upon it along with all the criticism. I’ve never felt so immersed in a game and its world while also feeling like there are so many barriers to me doing what I want. The story is huge in scope and so poignantly told, but damn does it also need an editor. I inhabited the main character, Arthur Morgan, through all my actions and decisions, except for when the goddamn talk button is also the shoot button and all of a sudden I’ve blown a man’s head off in the center of town and, dammit, now the police are after me. In short, everyone should play Red Dead Redemption 2 but also maybe no one should?
4. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
Let’s get this out of the way first: I am a big fan of developer From Software. I love the challenge, frustration, and elation that comes with finishing one of their games. I’m in it for the challenge and gameplay, not the crazy, bespoke lore. So the addition of a coherent and straightforward narrative in Sekiro was a welcome addition for me. But as nice as it was, the hero for me, as always in these games, is the combat. This might be the best combat system I’ve ever engaged with. Did I die a bajillion times? Obviously. But there is nothing in gaming quite like having your enemy on the ropes in Sekiro and knowing that in just a few swings they’ll be done. It’s satisfying because every defeat feels like a lesson to learn from and every victory feels earned. And while that’s true for the other Soulsborne games, this is the first to make me feel powerful as well. With every other From Software game I’ve played, victory feels like memorizing patterns and skating by on the skin of my teeth. This is the first From game in which I could feel powerful, which is maybe something I really needed in 2019.
3. Control
I have not burned through a video game like this in a very, very long time. Playing Control felt like binge watching the first season of House of Cards in 2013. I just wanted to keep going and going. While it does have some serious frame rate problems on my base PS4, Control is a really amazing looking game with some fantastic art direction and aggressive style. I loved the world, the main character, and the moment-to-moment gameplay, but what stuck with me most was the mystery. I was never a huge X-Files person, but damn did I love me some Fringe and this game gave me serious Fringe vibes but if Fringe had been on HBO rather than Fox. If you have the money and a weekend to burn, you owe it to yourself to check out this awesome action-adventure mystery.
2. Florence
Writing about Florence is tough. When I played it the first time I was in a very different place than I am now. Florence tells a short and simple story about an important relationship in two people’s lives. It’s a straightforward game with a clear vision and singular focus and I found it moving and honest and heartfelt. Its characters were my friends and past relationships. Its world was a world I used to live in. But as I sit and write this now, I feel more connected to this game than ever. As I evaluate and re-evaluate important relationships in my life and as I head into the new year, I find myself thinking about this game in terms of letting go. When is something worth fighting for and when is it worth moving on from? When is a relationship, job, value, idea- when is it worth the effort and when is it time to let go of it? I don’t think I’ll have the courage to revisit this game any time soon but if you haven’t checked it out yet, you should.
1. Apex Legends
Respawn is one of those developers that just knows how to make a game feel good. With 2016’s Titanfall 2, they instantly made themselves one of my favorite developers working right now. Even knowing that, Apex Legends was a complete surprise for me. I loved Battle Royale games before, but I hadn’t played one that felt this good. Connecting a shot felt powerful but I never felt like I went down without a fight. I always felt like, if I could just get the right angle or have two seconds to heal up, I could turn things around. More often than not that wasn’t true, but it always felt like it was. But this is my Game of the Year largely because of when Apex Legends came into my life. In early 2019 shit kind of hit the fan for my family. Things that were once in the back of our minds went right to the front and my life all of a sudden needed a lot more focus. So as I was bouncing back and forth, being here for one person in one moment and crying on someone else’s shoulder in the next, I found myself in need of an escape. I found myself needing a place I could go to where I wouldn’t have to think about things. A place I could go and unload my frustration or laugh with my friends or just forget about the world for a minute. Apex Legends provided me with that. Its “one more round” energy allowed me to spend as much or as little time with it as I wanted. I could hop in for 15 minutes or dive in for several hours and it was fun either way. I also spent nearly all of my time with this game with my best friend, laughing and making up stupid songs and torturing random teammates or making them crack up along with us. We would yell at each other when one of us dropped the ball and cheer each other on screaming, “They’re one shot! You’ve got this!” Apex Legends let me disconnect from my problems while also spending time laughing with my friend. While I know there are things in my life that I will have to confront in 2020, I hope the next year has more love, laughter, and joy. I’m sure that, at the very least, it will have more Apex.
And now for something completely different!
Over the past few years I’ve, surprisingly, started reading for fun? Crazy, I know. I hadn’t read for fun since maybe Harry Potter. But in the past two years alone I’ve read something like 30 books. Who am I? I’m a reader! And for those of you that are too (or those interested in reading more), here is a list of ten books that I read in 2019 that I either loved or felt changed me in important ways. Now unlike my Game of the Year list, this list is in order of when I read the book, not how much I liked it. I wanted to rank them but I had a hard time comparing White Fragility to a new Artemis Fowl book. Whoduh thunk it. So, without any more to say, here’s a lot more to say about my…
Top Ten Books 2019
I Might Regret This: Essays, Drawings, Vulnerabilities, and Other Stuff
By Abbi Jacobson
I’m a big Broad City fan so when I saw that Abbi Jacobson, one of the leads/showrunners, wrote a book of essays essentially about discovering who she is an adult, I was hyped. One of the most surprisingly great parts of getting older is watching as artists you love and admire grow and change over time and this definitely feels like that for Jacobson. While Broad City was very, very funny, it largely dealt in extremes. This book is almost all nuance, and it shows what a truly skilled and human writer Jacobson is.
Miles Morales: Spider-Man
By Jason Reynolds
Okay. Damn. Okay. This book is awesome. Gotta catch my breath. Okay. First, Miles Morales is a way more interesting Spider-man than Peter Parker. Sorry, but it’s true. Also Jason Reynolds? I mean, come on! This book – much like Ta-Nehisi Coates writing a Black Panther series or Taika Waititi writing and directing Thor: Ragnarok or Patty Jenkins helming the modern Wonder Woman movies – is an awesome example of what can happen when you pair the right creator with the right property. Reynolds tells a truly excellent Spider-man story while leaving behind the boring tropes and set-up we already know and infusing it with an important and modern message about systemic racism. I mean, without giving too much away, this book is essentially about Spider-man fighting white supremacy and anyone who knows me knows that that is extremely my jam.
Black Leopard, Red Wolf
By Marlon James
Of all the books I’ve read this year, this one felt the least accessible and the most like it didn’t care whether I finished it or not. But as we discussed in my video game list, I love a good Soulseborne and that’s what this felt like. Once I gave it the attention and time it deserved, Black Leopard, Red Wolf showed me a rich, African-fantasy world filled with ideas and characters I’d never experienced before. There is a case to be made about the intense misogyny that is pervasive throughout the book, but there are some clever and subtle moments that James incorporates that basically say, “Yeah but this book is from the perspective of a misogynist and asshole. That won’t be the case for the rest of the series.” That might be giving James the benefit of the doubt, but this book makes me feel like he deserves it.
The Fowl Twins
By Eoin Colfer
When my wife came home from one of her library conferences with this book, I immediately grabbed it and ripped through it. Growing up, the Artemis Fowl books were some of my favorites. A precocious and mouthy little boy who thought he knew everything? I could relate. So a new book set in that world but following two brothers I didn’t know much about was an easy sell for me. It’s fun and hits all the notes I want in a Fowl book. Sure, one brother is basically just Artemis 2.0, but the other is so interesting that the back and forth between the two made this fun and exciting. I’m sure he knows this and that’s why he wrote another, but I would read any Fowl book that Colfer puts out. It doesn’t hurt that this one was also just plain fun.
Accidental Presidents: Eight Men Who Changed America
By Jared Cohen
As The United States continues to unravel, I’ve found myself getting into a big non-fiction kick. It always helps me remember that while things today certainly aren’t normal or okay, they have definitely been crazier. Like, is Mitch McConnell a monster who is subverting the very heart of our democracy? Absolutely. But has he ever taken out a cane and started beating up Chuck Schumer? No, but as I learned from this book THAT’S A THING THAT USED TO HAPPEN. Any who, Accidental Presidents provides a fairly calming look back on some of the craziest moments in our nation’s history. Through these sixteen presidents and eight stories, Cohen offers a full but compact explanation for how The United States has dealt with the unexpected and often violent loss of its leaders. When William Henry Harrison died 31 days into his presidency, the nation had no idea what to do. There was no clear constitutional answer to who would be the next leader. No straightforward roadmap telling us what to do as a nation. But we figured it out and got through to the other side. A lot of times it doesn’t feel like we will ever get out of the mess we’re in. What I learned from Accidental Presidents is that, while it won’t be easy and it will definitely be painful, we will find a way out. (low-key we’ll get out if we vote these dumbos out of office in 2020)
Guts
By Raina Telgemeier
Ah me and books about anxiety. What a complicated relationship. Turns out that living with an anxiety disorder doesn’t mean I always want to be reading books about anxiety disorders? But this book is the exception that proves the rule. Through a charming art style and honest writing, Telgemeier tells the best story I’ve ever read about childhood anxiety. With Guts, she non-judgmentally and humorously shows that anxiety doesn’t always make sense, it’s almost always terrifying, and it definitely impacts every moment of your life. It doesn’t take itself too seriously but it does treat its characters with love and compassion, which I have almost always found to be the best way out of a panic attack.
The Ravenmaster: My Life with the Ravens at the Tower of London
By Christpher Skaife
This is a great example of the right book at the right time. The Ravenmaster is not some great insight into the human condition, but it is a weird, quirky, and easy read. I tore through this bad boy while on vacation at a beach house with my family, and man is that just the perfect way to read this thing. Skaife’s writing is easy going and honest, but what I love most about it is how straightforward it is. It’s not an overwrought reflection on life as a public servant, it’s a simple story about a guy who loves what he does and had some crazy adventures along the way. Pure, simple, and easy. Sometimes that’s all you need.
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
By Michael Chabon
I know I’m VERY late to the party on this one, but yup. This right here is a good book. As we witness a powerful and scary resurgence of anti-Semitism around the world, I have noticed myself finding solace and comfort in art that makes me proud to be Jewish (Jojo Rabbit was my favorite movie this past year for just that precise reason). Kavalier and Clay provides me with that exact sense of pride. The history of my people is long, dark, and complicated. But one thing that has always been a bright source of light has been our sense of storytelling. Chabon not only tells a great story about American Jewry, but he creates characters that do so themselves. It’s a story about the power of storytelling - about the power of sharing your truth. And the truth is that Jews are funny, brave, and persistent and I’m proud as hell to be one.
You Are a Badass Every Day: How to Keep Your Motivation Strong, Your Vibe High, and Your Quest for Transformation Unstoppable
By Jen Sincero
As my personal life has sort of crumbled around me these past few months, I’ve found myself increasingly in need of a confidence boost. This book is that. Sure it’s just a series of disconnected stories/sentences that all serve to exclusively make you feel better about yourself, but sometimes that’s exactly what a person needs! It’s not a great piece of dramatic writing. It exists with one singular purpose: to remind you that you’re fucking awesome. Thanks, Sincero.
White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism
Robin DiAngelo
This is going to sound like the definition of hyperbolic, but it is honest and true: I have never before read a book that has so fundamentally altered the way I think and behave with regards to the world around me. White Fragility is an eye opening experience that made me rethink every single part of my life. It’s not fun, it’s not easy, but it is the definition of necessary. The biggest problem I have with this book is that the people who need to read it most probably never will. But if you’re a white person – especially a white person who describes themselves as “woke” or like they “get it” – you need to read this book, like, yesterday. DiAngelo does a crazy thing throughout White Fragility in which she will make assumptions about the reader, which in turn make the reader defensive as hell, and then nearly instantly she justifies those assumptions by asking a series of questions that prove she was right in the first place. She breaks down some horrifying truths that I had accepted as norms and presents new and terrifying examples of subversive white supremacy that I have been engaging with and trading in on a lifelong level. In so many ways it felt like the lights had been off my whole life, and DiAngelo just came along and flipped that switch. Read. This. Book.
Well, that’s it for me. My favorite games and books that I played/read in 2019. I look forward to what will happen in 2020. Let me know what you read/played/watched this year that you loved! And happy new decade!